Family picture at the wedding

The last few months seem like a blur as I look over the time since I have written.  My conclusion of this span of time?  We are blessed.  So blessed.

Our family has been sick with various conditions ranging from Bronchitis to the common cold and flu.  It has hit all of us and seems at this moment to be rotating once again.  However, nothing serious and we have insurance to care for any needs that needs medical attention.  We are blessed.

We welcomed a new Brother-In-Law into the Reed family in November.  We are blessed, and, his wife is much more so!  It was a beautiful wedding, of which, the boys had the opportunity to participate.  Adorable!

Hunter and Keller blowing bubbles at the wedding

Our church continues to be an incredible ministry to our family.  We are so thankful that we are here in Grand Rapids and able to benefit from their programs.  The boys both fully enjoy their classes and are looking forward to the fall when both boys will be involved in “Kid’s Kove” when Keller moves up to their Kindergarten.  They will be in separate rooms, but able to participate in the same programs they have for these ages.  Justin and I are immensely “filled up” through our worship service and the actual preaching that we attend on Sunday mornings.  Soon, we may become involved in a Short Circle or Small Group which focuses on us as parents of young children.

Last fall Justin was able to attend the Men’s Retreat that Mars Hill sponsors.  This year we are hoping that I am able to attend the Women’s Retreat that they also sponsor.  On Justin’s trip he met many men that have become good friends to him and has also have the opportunity since that time to meet with them individually and as couples.  I am hoping for a similar experience, but going in knowing that God already has it planned out for me.

The last 6 months or so (I have lost count!) our family has given up pork and have gone mostly vegetarian.  It has been so much fun for me to experiment with these types of meals and other ways for us to eat healthy.  Another aspect to us being healthy is exercise.  And, that of which, has been lacking.  So, we are very excited to receive an item to aid in this – a treadmill.  Our hope is that we can get the exercise we need while remaining at home and maximizing the time we have as a family.  Justin’s schedule at work varies a few days a week in which he is working a bit later or going in earlier and our family time suffers.  With family time being the most important factor of our family life, that is significant. So, we are excited to be in the physical shape that God created us to be in and eating right for that same goal while still having time together.

The boys are doing well in their schooling.  Hunter is in 1st Grade and Keller is in Kindergarten (in Keller’s schooling he is at least, at church the ages were so that we decided to keep him with his friends).  They are both enjoying reading and expanding on it more this year.  Their real motivation is that when they can read they can learn more on their own instead of me preaching it to them!  Whatever it takes, right?!  Also, last Fall I decided it was time for Hunter to ride his bike.  So, within 10 minutes he was riding like had for a year already! I guess he was ready!  Within a few days Keller decided he was ready and with some practice he was riding within a few days.  They like the thought of those milestones being under their belt!

Of course, our life fills the cracks in my update and has resulted in a busy life as of late.  But, again, we are so blessed.  I hope this finds you well and knowing that God’s grace goes far beyond our understanding and comprehension.

Grace and peace to you.

Sunset on Lake Michigan

Lately, God has given me such a gift each week and brings to my mind songs from our Sunday’s Worship.  This week I was feeling a bit sad that I hadn’t had any of those promptings…until today.

This week has been a struggle.  I know that God has a plan through every up and down we have in this life.  What matters during those times is for whom we reach.  Do we reach for God or past downfalls and strongholds? So easily we slip into old habits. I slipped back into worry and anxiousness and brought me to depression.  Thankfully now that I have been through this enough, God was able to give me this song we sang last week and was able to lift me out of the pit.

In Christ alone should be our strength and guide!

Please enjoy the song: “In Christ Alone” sung by Travis Cottrell.

Justin and I attended a Parenting seminar at our church hosted by Dan Allender.  What an amazing story and a great speaker!  We were so blessed to have had the opportunity to attend and learn from someone so wise and experienced.  The seminar is not yet on Mars Hill’s website, but once it is I will post it as it was so insightful and encouraging! Knowing that we DO make mistakes and that we actually learn from our children, sometimes more than they do us!

For me, I am afraid of making mistakes with them and what it will cost them later down the road.  In one area in particular, well…I am not the most patient mother! My boys often hear me lecture them when that is the last thing I should be doing.  Or react negatively when that would otherwise be good teaching moment.  One thing that he mentioned is that when you are those moments and an error is made, bring it up to your child.  And, not only apologize and acknowledge it, but parallel that instance with one from your own experiences when something like that happened and hurt you.

I pray that those instances become less common in our household, but as I am reminded of each and every minute, I am a sin-filled human. I just hope that there will be more good moments where my strengths outweigh my flaws and my light might also point to Him, rather than just my flaws magnifying our need for our Lord! Until then, my boys may witness how God’s grace comes into any situation and how He brings His love, mercy, and peace to our lives.

Thank you so much to all of you for your prayers and support! Praise the Lord!

Yesterday, a more difficult day of withdrawal symptoms, I came across a blog detailing her experience with detoxing from this drug.  Again, someone else caught totally off guard of the fact that this is so terrible.  She had a very difficult time getting off of it and said that the greatest help to her was a “support group” of sorts.  It is actually a website called paxilprogress.org.  Here you are free to post your experience with weaning off and people are there and able to respond with words of encouragement and advice.  I posted last night for the first time asking if these withdrawals were familiar to anyone – of course, they were!  I also said that there is absolutely no way I could accomplish this task with my Heavenly Father and my incredible husband of which He blessed me.  A woman responded and said, “I’m so happy to read your faith and your husband are helping you.  It’s so nice to have a supportive spouse.  Those are the things, along with this board, that helped me as well”.  I was amazed.  I posted that because that is who I am, I can’t pretend I am doing this on my own.  And, then here comes a complete stranger mentioning my faith and its importance.

I just felt so blessed.  I guess a better way of saying that would be to say that I felt confirmed – Me as a person – My struggles in this battle – My ability to make it through.  I know that God allows you to go through difficult times in your life for many reasons.  Ones that I recognize currently is our need for him more and thus draw to him.  Also, I believe, so that we have this story, one that someday may help someone else.  This woman’s story and experience is helping me.  Maybe someday my story and experience can help someone as well.

For now, I just need to finish this Paxil chapter.  I know I can do it!  Freedom is within reach.

Phillipians 4: 10-13 I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

We have had the opportunity to read a couple of books on this subject, but also eating natural and living natural as well.  The more we read, the more we have felt led to give up certain and previously considered harmless things.  For example – pork.  Reading what harbors in this animal and what is retained and then remains in the meat and then…even after long periods of high-heat cooking, remains in the meat.  So, that is #1.  Then, #2, we are limiting our intake of animal protein all together, and will have some occasionally and only from organic, natural stores. Then #3.  The more we have read about the toxins in our bodies due to our way of live and eating, this somehow needs to be cleansed from us, and really the best way that God has created is to fast.  God has commanded us not to eat pork for a reason and to fast for a reason.  Not just as a way to be obedient, but to be healthy and vibrant!  So, with the knowledge we have obtained, we will be doing so to cleanse and allow our bodies to heal.

We were on a roll so we thought we would evaluate the way that we desire to live and how we actually do.  First we decided to get rid of the television.  Weird, I know!  However, everything in us tells us that in order to achieve the simplicity, joy, and peace that we are seeking, we need to rid ourselves of needless distractions.  So, that is gone.  Next, we decided to get rid of our microwave.  Yes, I know, crazy!  But, for how hard we are working and as much as we are spending to put healthy, whole foods on the table, why would I put them into the microwave which only kills those nutrients?  That is gone too.

I am, with the prayers of many understanding and very patient friends and family, slowly decreasing the medication I am taking for anxiety.  Praise the Lord, I have just completed a week on half of what I was on previously.  Today I started with a fourth of the original dosage.  So, following that the fast will help me to clean those terrible toxins from my body and will allow it to recover back to…normal?  Justin has had health issues that have haunted him for several years so with this cleanse, implementing these food changes, and having a continual exercise routine, our prayer is that he may heal and regain his health.

Seeing God’s hand in this journey is quite amazing.  It had begun with purging our HOME from toxins and having a natural living space.  Now, we are being challenged to purge our BODIES from toxins and give this body of ours the temple it deserves.  By purging unnecessary distractions and amenities, we hope that this home of ours will be an oasis for our bodies, minds, and souls. Now, to allow God to encompass all of those and for His will for this new chapter of our lives to be revealed!

Justin is continuing to work at Priority Health.  This week he received a promotion to another department.  We take that as a great compliment to his worth ethic, character, and knowledge of the products.  I am so proud of him that in just 4 months he has moved to another position in the company!

Hunter is very bit the 6-year-old.  He now thinks he is smarter than everyone else and “why should we even bother discussing it because he is right?”.  But, on the days that he returns to us, he is the kindest, sweetest, most sensitive boy who had an incredible imagination and artistic ability.  He is going into 1st grade this year and he is SO ready!  He has decided that when he turns 8 he will have saved enough money to buy a chinchilla so he can save them from people who kill them for their fur.  We shall see.

Keller is turning 5 next week.  My baby!  I guess I can’t call him that anymore, but to me he always will be!  He is growing into himself and finding his own interests apart from his big brother.  He is also excited to go into the next grade which will be Kindergarten.  Keller thankfully still needs his mom to give hugs and kisses to when I come and go – when I no longer have him doing that I know I will need a dog!

I have been taking this summer to accomplish two goals: one, lose weight; two, eat right.  Thankfully, they go hand in hand.  It has progressed but has remained an enjoyable part of my life.  I feel so much better and thankfully am fitting into smaller clothes.  I began walking 6 days a week with a good friend in the early mornings.  I enjoy catching up with her and really sharing my life with someone consistently.  She has become my prayer warrior, life coach, mentor, and dear friend!  I also have begun exercising 6 days a week by using my Kettle Bell and following Jillian Michael’s exercise routine for cardio and strength training.  The goal of eating right has taken off as well.  I began eating strictly 3 times a day, tons and tons of veggies, and no flour or sugar.  I did that for 2 months and then began tweaking it for my body and lifestyle.  I have been incorporating whole wheat bread to my diet and healthy snacks during the day.  Most recently, Justin and I have been lead to give up meat for 30 days…we are on day 3!  And, I must say, we are doing very well with it and are enjoying this new challenge of finding satisfying recipes that are also delicious.  Thankfully, our friends who are Culinary Arts Majors eat the same way and have stepped in to help in the recipe department!

I have always wanted to try this way of eating and when Justin mentioned it, I knew it was to be.  We have been researching more on the food we consume on a daily basis and I have been horrified to learn some of the gruesome details.  I have to say I will never again eat certain kinds and cuts of meat.  God has given us laws for a reason and with all of the evidence He provides and has given to few honorable men, we now see the truth.

So, for 30 days we will continue this “meat cleanse” we call it and following that we will determine what to add back into our diet.  Our desire is to just add fresh, organic fish and chicken and the remaining still be rice, grains, beans, and vegetables.  I praise God that He has given us the desire to begin living this way and that He protected us from ill-health this long eating the way we did.

That is about our life up to this point.  How about you?  I miss writing to you and hearing from you.  We lift up those that happen to come across this blog and those of our friends and family that remain in touch.  May our prayers be felt as you go about your lives and your busy days!

So…yeah, it has been a struggle. However, turning this struggle into an area of surrender has transformed this experience for me.  Surrender to God’s will for me – which has really helped me in regaining control of my choices.  So, by surrendering this over to Him, He seems to have given it back to me in the form of boundaries which has been so freeing!  Boundaries = freedom?  Yes, I believe it does, interestingly enough. Let’s look at their meanings:

Boundary: something that indicates or fixes a limit or extent

=

Freedom: the quality or state of being free: as a : the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action b : liberation from slavery or restraint or from the power of another – meaning the power or condition of acting without compulsion

When we apply these terms to our lives living in Christ, we see His will for our lives so much clearer.  These boundaries seem like chains at times – holding us back from what we think is in our best interest.  When, all along they could mean our destruction.  Following God’s will or boundaries for our lives actually is our freedom!  Our liberty!  God frees us – we must seek Him for direction to know the plans He has for us.  When we ask – He answers.  When we seek – we will find.  At the other end of our search is our freedom. JOY!

Tonight will be my third week of attending Beth Moore’s study, “Stepping Up”.  It has been amazing, truly, and am so thankful that I am going through it!  It has opened my eyes to areas in my life which need to be addressed and have been holding me down or ‘souring’ as she puts it.  This comes from the Feast of the Unleaven Bread, of which they do not eat anything that contains yeast, nor do they have any in their homes.  To them, yeast represented sin, as yeast is a souring agent that produces the gases for the bread to rise.  Beth Moore said something that really hit home for me and I’m sure for many others.  During times of repentance and dramatic change in your ways/behaviors, often small pieces of those are held back either subconsciously or consciously.  This creates a ‘souring’ as part of this sin/yeast is left behind and begins to rot.  Even though it began as a good thing to repair your previous sins, if any of those sticks around, it will make its presence known in very undesirable ways, just as the yeast does.

As far back as I can remember, my mom made bread.  As I got older I would watch her and learn from her and then later began making my own.  One of those times I remembered smelling something foul coming from the mixer.  I cleaned every part that I could see and still the smell lingered.  Finally, taking apart the mixer to the point that I could see inside, I found the source!  It was some dough that had risen over too much one day and seeped into part of the mixer.  Needless to say, it was awful!

I am understanding more now that if your past sins are not revisited, little remnants remain and is the souring agent in our lives.  Even though going over those times of your life is the last thing you want to do, examining them is so important to clean out your gears or hidden areas where the sin remains or had sept into.  Revealing it leads to prayer and for God’s grace to cover those areas.

When you’re wanting to eat that fattening something off your plan, remind yourself of the misery and regret it gives you later….it’s a false friend…..gives you instant gratification and then long-term regret.  Tell yourself you’re chosing Joy!  ……Moving to Joy, right? 

Yes, moving to joy.  However, I can’t MOVE to joy until I CHOOSE joy.  This concept is so freeing to me.  So much less to worry about, so much easier to say, “no I’m making this decision because I choose continued joy instead of long-term regret.  This has put my strength in God rather than myself for not only eating right, but many other personal decisions in my life.  Choosing joy brings our focus back on the Creator and Administer of joy.